Do you notice there are Solopreneurs who put a lot of effort into not looking like one?  They try to look bigger, like a 'company'. Sometimes a put on persona goes beyond trying to look 'big'.  It's about trying to look PERFECT. #solopreneur #solopreneurs #beyourself #business #businessmindset

Do you notice there are Solopreneurs who put a lot of effort into not looking like one?  They try to look bigger, like a ‘company'.  Perhaps they feel that won't be taken seriously if clients know they're on their own.  Putting on a corporate persona doesn't appeal to me – but if it works for you, go for it.

Sometimes a put on persona goes beyond trying to look ‘big'.  It's about trying to look PERFECT.

I have never tried to be anything but myself online.  The idea of putting on a mask and working to present a perfect persona is mentally exhausting and emotionally trying.  It's certainly not how I want to expend my energy.

Being comfortable in my own skin is a hard won life skill and it's one I highly recommend that you develop – the sooner the better actually!  Going through your days uncomfortable with who you are creates a natural boundary in life that limits what you can do.

Being happy with yourself is a daily choice.  It starts with how you think – primarily how you think about how others respond to you.

Do you feel bad about yourself because you spend time comparing yourself to your competition?  Stop right now.

Listen…  I'm not perfect.  (So far from it that I want to laugh at the thought.)  Still, I'm quite good at what I do.  Who cares if I'm not the best?   What matters most is that I love what I do and it's working for me.  Some feel crippled by the idea that someone else is better than they are – but I choose to feel challenged instead.

Do you feel bad about yourself because someone doesn't like you?  Forget about them.

Some people really like me.  Some don't.

I don't like everybody I meet so I sure don't expect everyone to like me.  Heck I give a lot of people reason to NOT like me with my bold opinions. How crazy would it be for me to sit and worry about the people who don't like me?  I choose to focus on those who do!

Do you feel bad about yourself because someone hurt you or put you down along the way?  Forgive them.

I grew up in a home damaged by alcoholism, divorce, abuse and abandonment.  I know a thing or two about childhood trauma but my days of living out the role of victim are far behind me.  I forgave my abuser and choose to look forward.

Do you feel bad about yourself because of the way you look?  I want to give you a hug .

I'm very overweight.  I am not pleased with that but I'm 100% responsible for it and CAN change it if I want it bad enough.   I don't relish packing my ‘fat clothes' and heading out to a conference where everyone can see more than my carefully chosen headshot photo – but I've done it and been happier with myself for it.

If you're especially short or freakishly tall, if you have a wiggly eye or you have scars or a visible birth defect… whatever you have going on that makes you self conscious that you're not responsible for and can't change – seriously, I want to hug you right now.  Of all the reasons to feel bad about yourself, a physical trait that cause people to stare and act stupid has to be the most challenging to overcome in my opinion.

You can try to be someone else if you really want to.

You can present yourself ‘just so' in every photo.  You can behave in ways that you think will make others like you more.  You can hide every fault and hold back opinions or feelings that might annoy someone.  You can do that – so many people do!

But at the end of the day – aren't you worn out?  Maybe even a little afraid?  (What if someone ever knew the real me?)

Let it go my friend.  Be yourself and let the world take you or leave you. Those who leave you don't deserve you and those who take you as you are will become precious friends and acquaintances that brighten your world and confirm your value.

About the Author

I'm all about Content Marketing & Community Building here at Love People + Make Money. I love to collaborate, so never hold back from sharing your ideas with me! - Kelly McCausey

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  1. What a great post, Kelly! So very encouraging, I’ve been worried about all the people who “don’t like me” lately, and it HAS been truly exhausting. ;)

  2. WOW, This post is a fantastic post Kelly! Heartfelt, honest, true, and RAW. I love these 2 lines…

    Let it go my friend. Be yourself and let the world take you or leave you.

    (applause)

  3. Good on you for breaking out and posting the fun photo, Kelly. I go through days where I’m super sensitive about others opinions and days where I couldn’t care less. I want more of the latter.

    I’m going to send this post to a new friend of mine. She struggles with some of the issues you’ve mentioned here and we’ve been talking a lot about them lately.

    Great post. Thanks. Feel like it’s talking straight to me with some of the points :-)

  4. What a beautiful and encouraging post Kelly. Thanks for the uplifting thought today.
    Sending you hugs too for all you do,
    Nancy

  5. Kelly, this post is one I will bookmark and share. We all have some aspects we can change, and we have some we can’t. We can either try and “hide” our blemishes, or we can embrace them and realize they are part of who we are. I have a friend who has an eye disease and has to wear a patch. Some would be terribly embarrassed when people stare, he will introduce himself as “The Pirate”. It is a great conversation starter and it immediately diminishes what otherwise might inhibit his self image. I love when people will accept themselves as who they are and invite the world to get to know the real me.

  6. Kelly, this post is one I will bookmark and share. We all have some aspects we can change, and we have some we can't. We can either try and “hide” our blemishes, or we can embrace them and realize they are part of who we are. I have a friend who has an eye disease and has to wear a patch. Some would be terribly embarrassed when people stare, he will introduce himself as “The Pirate”. It is a great conversation starter and it immediately diminishes what otherwise might inhibit his self image. I love when people will accept themselves as who they are and invite the world to get to know the real me.

  7. Oh what an awesome post Kelly! I’ve spent a long time always trying to be someone else – someone that everyone else (parents, family & even friends sometimes) wanted me to be. I learned at a very young age the real me wasn’t good enough, at least from some of my families perspective. That definitely carried over into my adulthood and that carried over to my online presence/business for quite awhile. The first couple years as a VA were rough – I was consumed with comparing myself to other VAs out there, feeling hurt after criticism (even if it was constructive!), trying to act a certain way around this person or that person…it was tiring! Finally I realized it was time to start living authentically and if people didn’t like me for who I was too bad. It’s been 4 years and 7 months as a VA and I finally don’t pay attention to what other VAs are doing (well ok I do pay attention but I don’t compare myself to them) and can finally accept feedback/criticism without it ruining my day and stressing over it. When you learn to accept who you are and let that shine through so many things just fall into place!

  8. I need to start living this way!!! Been taking a “beating” lately from others – who overstepped their bounds – and, of course, from myself….A change in outlook is very much in order – enjoyed this post :-)

  9. That’s one of the things I’ve always loved about you Kelly, your authenticity and transparency. From the time I first discovered you many years ago through your podcast right through till today, you’ve never been anything else but yourself.

    Personally, all my life I felt second best. Raised by a super-critical mother I always felt inferior and afraid to share my real self. I was a people pleaser and bent over backward trying to make others happy…no matter what the cost to me…..

    Until I hit my 40th birthday and something in me changed. I realized that life is too short to spend with people who make you miserable and that if people don’t like and accept you for who you are, then they’re not your people. Stop wasting time on them and move to people who do love and accept you for who you are.

    I’ve learned to embrace my authenticity and to be me because as the saying goes, everyone else is taken.

  10. Terrific, caring post. I feel hugged just reading it. The critic in my head is the one I have to deal with the most. Thanks for the encouraging words to just be our true selves.

  11. I definitely fell into this trap so many times by trying look perfect and project that my business is striving. Unfortunately, it is backfired at me on occasion. Thank you for sharing your story, it’s encouraging to hear that others have similar struggles as I am.

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